I find myself thirsting for more. More excitement, more scenery, more beauty, more culture, more life.
A friend told me that sometimes you just have to be okay with life; you just have to be okay with being still sometimes because that’s how life is. I agree to a point. I agree that there are going to be moments that are so boring and still that you just need to embrace that moment and enjoy it. I get that. However, I feel like I’m a ticking time clock. I feel like I’m running out of time. Days go by and I haven’t given back enough, yet. There are moments that I sit still and just breathe and enjoy the air around me, the silence, and the beauty I feel that surrounds me. Then, there are moments when I feel like I need to just run away, run far away and keep going until I find what it is that I’m looking for.
What am I looking for?
So, that’s the problem. I am looking for something and I have no idea what it is. My “mistakes” in life started from running away and wanting to explore. I still want to explore, but before I do I have to remember that I need to finish what I’ve started. I have 10 months left on my lease and 10 months left of school. I WILL finish college in that amount of time and have my B.S. and I will go month to month on my apartment until I can be abroad. David will be in the 3rd grade. This is all that I am certain about. I don’t know how I will get my dogs overseas, I don’t know if I’ll sell everything or if I’ll store it, I don’t know if my friends and family will support me, I don’t know what to expect, and I don’t know if I’ll be back after one year. What I do know is that I will do God’s work wherever I go and that I will share my story of His grace and forgiveness. I know that this will be a great adventure for Dave and I and that we will bond and become so much closer throughout this experience.
In the meantime, I am planning on simplifying my life. Living for the moment and people rather than “things” and “luxury”. I want to document those steps as I take them. I hope that this inspires someone to do the same, to remember that….
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give..”
Let that sink in. Live that.